That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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