Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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