I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
id be glad to
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize