I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize