Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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