As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
