sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
