dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
