omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
