I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
