Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
