You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
