i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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