We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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