is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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