redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
