That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
