i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
