im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
