I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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