im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize