also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize