i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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