so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
