Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
