Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
