and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
