Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Farmville is her only friend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
