Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
