this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
