I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
