were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
