I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
