4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
