After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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