Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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