this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
