she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
