he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize