is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
