That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
