You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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