i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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