So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
