how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
