who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm at about main and main street
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
