I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize