I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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