dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize