Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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