belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
