Betty ford says i'm here all night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
