i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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