I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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