Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
