Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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