My nipple is on Facebook.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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