Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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