Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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