That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
