This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
