Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
