dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
