i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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